Friday, August 20, 2010

When I don’t know which door to open, I just leave the room

I've been 'home' for almost a week now. Is it weird or mean or wrong that I don’t want to talk about my experience with random people? Maybe ‘random’ is the wrong word to use, but with my acquaintances here? People ask what its like, and how on earth do I even begin to answer that question? They ask how I like it and so far my staple answer has been ‘Depends on what day you ask me’. Because it's true. How do I begin to tell them that one day I feel like I’m on top of the world and a catalyst for change, and the next I feel discouraged beyond belief, crying out of utter helplessness and despair? How do I describe my elation at the puddle of challenges overcome that mean the world to me in the ocean of failures I face? How do I qualify the friendships formed and the bonds created and also destroyed in such a short span? How do I sum up a year of my life, feeling so far from my starting point, yet no closer to the end?

And to people who really just don't care anyway.

3 comments:

  1. you gotta see the bottom to reach the top. keep it up dove. (thumbs up)

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  2. Braving each step of this journey, no matter how heavy or light footed you may feel... this is what you inspire!

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  3. That's how I feel when starry-eyed people ask me about the Peace Corps. I housed a former volunteer who served in Gabon 10 years ago, and her best advice: "Talk about the Peace Corps for about 5 minutes, and move on." YES!

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