"Creating anything meaningful takes time; And sometimes the only thing that happens in an instant is destruction."
It’s much easier to say these things than to be living their reality. Maybe I’m not really cut out for field work; at least not developmental work. It’s just too frustrating and I personally need to know and see that I’m making a difference. Which is why I think I’m much better suited for humanitarian relief efforts with tangible results. It’s not that I don’t believe in development work and sustainable efforts. I just don’t know if I can personally handle all the frustrations that come along with it. I’m just not strong enough to handle the rejection and the roadblocks and the failures. I feel like I'm pushing against a rock in the road instead of holding a hand to lead them around. And I don't know how to convince anyone that there are other way's to do things. That its ok to try something different. If I was just here to help go about things the way they have always been, what difference will I be making?
Maybe I should have checked if they even wanted a difference to be made in the first place. The days make me feel meaningless right now. How am I supposed to change the definition of what is possible?
This post sums me up pretty well. I need to see that people have benefitted from me. I agree...we should have asked the locals if they wanted change first!
ReplyDeletePS: Whatever option opens up, DO go for it. I have this strong feeling that another post will do you justice (which is also why I'm extending).