You're beautiful as you are, just like a shining star

The first time I heard it, I actually thought it was semi-creative. The second time I heard a man yell out 'Baby, you're beautiful as you are, just like a shining star', I thought MAYBE it was the same guy as last time? But now that I've heard it a couple of times, it must be a Kittitian thing.

With the heavy rains flooding under my front door, and my washing machine leaking again, I think the world is trying to tell me to stop being lazy and mop the darn floor. I really need to put up a clothes line inside my house. I've waited quite a while for a day to do my laundry, and thought it was safe enough today because the sun was shining this morning when I threw my towels and sheets in the machine. But nooooo, of course it had to start pouring half an hour after I put them out on the line.

I think I have come to a self-realization about myself. My close friends know that I joke and 'complain' about being 'homeless' and how I haven't stayed in one place for too long. But secretly, I love it. I think I honestly feel safer in my temporary homes and environments. It's almost like a safety net, because its easier to let go and move on when you know that's not where you're going to stay. That I have a chance to start again? I don't know if that makes sense to anyone else. That being said, I've still never done well with letting go of people and places.

 Random graffitti and scenes around the island

I don't know her name, but she's always sitting and selling fruit on Bay road. And I've never seen her smile, but that's almost part of her charm.

“Some of us are not meant to conquer the world, we are meant to save it”

Me: Why did I decide that I want to help people instead of being happy making money living at home with the people I love?

Sameer Ahmad: Because you know that you dont want the lasting impression on this world when you leave to be represented by kids you popped out of yourself against their will, and some digits in some failing bank

hahahah I love my friends =) And THAT is why I decided to come here. Because my true friends will be there when I'm done with this phase of  trying to 'save' the world.

Following the yellow brick road

Change can be wonderful and heartwrenching at the same time. Life changes in a heartbeat. I think I’m learning how to deal with extreme spontaneity and lack of structure, but that doesn't mean I like it. I hate not knowing and I hate waiting more than anything else. But that seems to be the definition of my life here.

William Murray is not coming back. He was permanently leaving, then he was just leaving for testing with all of us being in limbo, hoping and praying he might return, and now he's definitely not returning for service. One of my other close friends here is going through personal issues so I essentially feel like I have 'lost' two of my best friends here. With the Children's Home; I was working with them, then they didn't want me working with them, then I'm officially cleared to work with them again. Constant last minute meetings and plans. People coming and going from my life. Simultaneously shocking and wonderful changes, slaps in the faces, reality sinking in, losing hope and getting it back only to lose it again.

 

I love it and hate it and want it all to end and never want it to stop. My life is all whirls and spins and I’m just trying to follow the yellow brick road. Except I don't know what I'm hoping to find at the end of mine and I don't have any magical ruby red slippers.

The only constant in my life is my family and I miss them so incredibly much right now and can't wait for my mommy to visit so I can curl up with my head in her lap as she plays with my hair and frustrates me and makes me laugh and feel safe because I know she will never ever leave me.

Boats and Fairs

St. Kitts had a two-day Agricultural exhibition with different kinds of displays from crops to livestock. Agencies had displays explaining what they do as institutions. The event was designed to educate the public on what the Department of Agriculture is doing. There was a lot available for purchasing from items at the Taiwanese mission and several agro processors including jams, jelloes, soaps and every type of vegetable on the federation. It was very similar to the fair in Nevis, but it was still a good experience.

School children at the exhibition

Tents with agro processors displaying things like jam and honey

Local produce

Self explanatory herbal garden

More produce

I thought this was funny

Local plants and vegetation

Another exciting 'event' on the island this past week was the visit from the floating book fair: Logos Hope. It is essentially a Christian Mission ship that travels the world with books to bring Knowledge, Help and Hope. The entire ship is made up of volunteers, from the kitchen staff to the captain. But in addition to providing literature to developing countries, the ship is dedicated to providing hands on work wherever they go. We had the pleasure of speaking to a couple of volunteers who explained the work they do to us, and if it weren't for the fact that my two years of volunteer work are taken up by the Peace Corps and the added fact that the boat is a 'Christian' mission, I would absolutely LOVE to work with them.

Walking towards the ship...

Pictures and descriptions explaining the history of the OM ships

I HAD to, some things never change =)

By far the largest section along with the other side full of Bibles

Sophie, I was SO tempted to get something for my little Pooh Bear!

 

There was a book called the 100 greatest cities, and Lahore was #50! I have officially been to 16 of the cities on the list, my goal is to visit them all iA. But I can say I've been to both #1 and #100 (Amsterdam and Washington DC, in that order)

I was tempted to buy this as well. hehe can you see the penguin smile on my face?

I guess this is how the rest of the world sees my island when they visit on cruises...

"Our goal is to bring knowledge, help and hope to the people of the world. We do this by supplying vital literature resources, encouraging cross-cultural understanding, training young people for more effective life and service, providing needed relief, and sharing a message of hope in God wherever there is opportunity.

"The ships visit each port for several weeks each and open the gangways to hundreds and sometimes thousands of visitors each day. On average, over one million visitors have been welcomed onboard every year! The floating book fairs offer over 6,000 titles, providing many visitors their first-ever opportunity to purchase quality educational and Christian literature.

An international crew and staff of volunteers live and work on the ships. Teams from the ship go into surrounding areas to supply aid and community care. In each port, the ship's crew joins local churches to bring hope and show love to people whatever their circumstance, culture or background."

ICC

One of the main sports played here in St. Kitts is cricket, and the ICC Twenty20 women's matches were held at Warner Park this year (the venue for the 2007 World Cup). Being from Pakistan originally and having an avid cricket follower for a father, I have an advantage over the other volunteers here in that I actually understand the game (or so I think). My counterpart with SOS; Val Henry, is the ICC event manager over here. Before I could even ask, he signed me up to be a volunteer for the matches when I first arrived on island. So my first week back I was working at the accreditation center, meaning we made sure everyone had the appropriate clearances and badges, etc. It was really slow since I came back during the actual matches and most approvals and clearances had already been taken care of the week before.

Some of the volunteers at the accreditation center

One of the volunteers adorable baby, she has the most gorgeous eyes ever!

But Saturday was the Pakistan vs. India match which I wanted to actually watch. So I convinced Kim, Geoff, Patty and Tasha to join me. It was really hot with the sun beating down on us earlier in the morning, but the weather quickly changed its mind and hit us with a downpour of rain. Sadly I think I was the only Pakistani fan, I even wore green and white to represent and got excited when they started playing 'dil dil Pakistan'. Which I didn't realized they play at all games.

Steel band at the park taking a break

Closing ceremonies at the park on Monday after the last game being played in St. Kitts for this series

Getting my volunteer shirt signed by Deandra Dottin

"Deandra Dottin made history when she became the first woman to score an international T20 hundred, when she smashed an unbeaten 112 against South Africa in St Kitts during the 2010 World Twenty20. She reached her century off just 38 balls. The hard-hitting young batsman from Barbados was first included in West Indies' tour of Europe. She is also a handy athlete, excelling in the javelin, shot put and discus."

He sleeps in a storm

"A man seeks employment on a farm. He hands his letter of recommendation to his new employer. It reads simply, 'He sleeps in a storm.'
The owner is desperate for help, so he hires the man.
Several weeks pass, and suddenly, in the middle of the night, a powerful storm rips through the valley.
Awakened by the swirling rain and howling wind, the owner leaps out of bed. He calls for his new hired hand, but the man is sleeping soundly.
So he dashed off to the barn. He sees, to his amazement, that the animals are secure with plenty of feed.
He runs out to the field. He sees the bales of wheat have been bound and are wrapped in taurpalins.
He races to the silo. The doors are latched, and the grain is dry.
And then he understands. 'He sleeps in a storm.'

If we tend to the things that are important in life, our lives will not be cursed with the aching throb of unfulfilled business. We will never wallow in the agony of 'I could have, I should have.' We can sleep in a storm."

180 degrees

No it's not a baking pun. What I mean is the 180 degrees turn it feels like my life took with my visit to and back from home. Yes, I've finally decided that I have many homes away from home, but California is where my heart really is. I missed St. Kitts dearly while I was gone, my parents home and the high school years spent in Kuwait, my college days in DC, my getaway in Ashburn... all places I feel completely at home. But the only place I can imagine getting old is in good old Southern California.

Back to my 180. From the NBA to the ICC, from sushi to yucky cookup, from driving through 5 lane highways to reckless buses and uphill hikes home, from chilly nights wrapped in blankets to multiple cold showers and fans. But oddly enough, the things I thought I missed the most about home, I missed while I was there. I rubbed my feet back and forth through the soft carpet, blasted MY music in the car while driving, drank endless amounts of milk and OJ, and took long hot showers. But when its out of sight, its out of mind. I forget the feel of carpet, the taste of OJ and the power of the accelerator under my feet when I'm here. But when I was home I actually longed for the sound of the damn rooster at night. For a few moments, I was lost when I had to put the car in drive and figure out where I was going instead of just hopping on the bus. I got scared when I walked into the huge mall and left as soon as I could because I was so overwhelmed. I actually converted everything back into EC to figure out how much I was spending!

When I stepped off the plane in St. Kitts, the wave of heat hit me hard, along with the reality of my life here. When we drove up to my house, the little girl who lives across the street actually jumped up and down in her excitement to see me which made my heart smile. The next day I ran inside my house halfway through hanging clothes to dry because there was a monkey stealing mangoes from my yard. Then Margaret told me how dearly she had missed me at the DASKN meetings during my absence. And I experienced some disturbing cultural differences involving a two year old getting drunk on jello shots. Then I had my breath stolen from me on a drive further into the 'country' as I took in the gorgeous view while the sunset. Point being, I've had both ups and downs in less than a week since my return. And they all culminate my PC experience that I wouldn't trade anything in the world for.